SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
