Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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