What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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