You can't special order awesome
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
operation have a gay friend backfired
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
