If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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