census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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