Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
