I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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