They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
