just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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