Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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