my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
