I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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