I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
