I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
