you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
