When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
