OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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