Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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