census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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