Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
