How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
