med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
