It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
