We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
