Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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