Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
