Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
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