my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
