i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
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