I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize
