does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
A+ Viking dick
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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