I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
