im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
