dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize