oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
