That's intense
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
