he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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