"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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