My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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