it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I will pee on everything he values.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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