She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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