I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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