you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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