you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
