just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
