I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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