If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
