We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
