giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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