Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
