I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
