Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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