i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
