good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
