Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just saw a hot homeless man
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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